So
You say you like chili? And lemons in certain contexts, but not as a rule? And noodles in a vague, sort of passive way?
Boy! Do I have a product for you!
We all have the days: you work 10 hours at your marketing job in union square, you're tired but still the best looking guy in miles, and when you come home you look at five different take out menus and you're so indecisive its pathetic and you decide fine, I'll just take a look at what it's the cabinets of my apartment in Astoria, NY because I'm too bored and spineless to make even a laughably simple decision. This literally happens to all of us at least once a week.
That's where Thai Kitchen's Lemongrass Chili Flavored Rice Noodle Soup Bowl comes in! In your cabinet! You bought it some time ago for God knows what reason!
As the water boils, you gaze into the aesthetically suggestive exoticism of the package. It's cover belays a mystery of flavors: will the noodles taste like the dawn atop majestic Fuji? Or perhaps a rain-flecked jungle, deep in the heart of Thailand. (Disclaimer: all thoughts fabricated; you are busy thinking about The X-Men)
Finally the water has boiled! As with most meals, the noodles are prepared by peeling back the plastic cover, pouring in the "flavor" and "oil" packets, and adding boiling water. In 3-4 minutes your noodles are soft enough to sliver down your throat.
And sliver they will. As you take those first magical bites, words come to your mind. Food. Palatable. Mouth Tingle. Green Stuff. Sadness. Thai Kitchen's Lemongrass Chili Flavored Rice Noodle Soup Bowl is like a taste symphony. A very bad symphony, composed by an idiot. But just the same, it makes you feel bad for people who can only afford that crappy Maruchan bag ramen. It makes you feel bad for everyone, for having to live in a world where Thai Kitchen's Lemongrass Chili Flavored Rice Noodle Soup Bowl exists.
And now, you sit in your apartment in Astoria, NY, listening to the new Clipse album and thinking about ordering a small pizza. But deep inside, you know you won't bother. You've got a beer in the fridge and a few comics to read. Life is just fine.
