Thursday, December 31, 2009

I Rip It Hard

Like porno flick bitches.

Sitting in my room in Higashi-Ikebukuro (Ikebukuro is a stop on the Yamanote line in Tokyo about 5 stops north of Shinjuku) about to start the future-New Years wackiness in Shibuya, first, bars, and then at least 2 different clubs. Shits gonna be rad over here in Tokyo, just as I'm sure its gonna be pretty heady over there with you guys. Have a good time, yinz, and think about how fucking weird it is that we're about to enter the 2nd decade of the 21st century. I want my lightsaber already.

Happy fuckin' new year!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

New Internet Sadness

Peter and I have started a message board.

moontownexpress.proboards.com

Join up if you like, if message boards are your thing.

All are welcome.

Tell yr friends.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Xmas in Japan, Vol. 1

Its Christmas over there, now, right? Hope everyone's having a killllller time!

What I did over Xmas Eve and Xmas:

Ate basashi (aka raw horse meat); ate lots of grilled lamb; drank with the owners of a tiny little restaurant in a town called Iwaizumi situated between 2 mountains; got presents from people I don't know; went to Japan's 3rd largest limestone cave, ryusendo, and drank the famously pure water there (tasted like snow...); went to Unoso, a cliff overlooking the Pacific that is apparently very famous as a suicide spot; watched the sunset/moon rise while in a hot spring outside; cooked an awesome dinner.

Christmas Eve






Ryusendo










Unoso









Merry Christmas!

Love,
Barney Claus

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Monday, December 21, 2009

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Vintage Train Tea Party

My crazy family threw a tea party on the old 1930's subway that's running in New York this month.

Jazz, motherfuckers.

Jazz

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

My Super Special Review of Thai Kitchen's Lemongrass and Chili Flavor Rice Noodle Soup Bowl


So
You say you like chili? And lemons in certain contexts, but not as a rule? And noodles in a vague, sort of passive way?
Boy! Do I have a product for you!
We all have the days: you work 10 hours at your marketing job in union square, you're tired but still the best looking guy in miles, and when you come home you look at five different take out menus and you're so indecisive its pathetic and you decide fine, I'll just take a look at what it's the cabinets of my apartment in Astoria, NY because I'm too bored and spineless to make even a laughably simple decision. This literally happens to all of us at least once a week.
That's where Thai Kitchen's Lemongrass Chili Flavored Rice Noodle Soup Bowl comes in! In your cabinet! You bought it some time ago for God knows what reason!
As the water boils, you gaze into the aesthetically suggestive exoticism of the package. It's cover belays a mystery of flavors: will the noodles taste like the dawn atop majestic Fuji? Or perhaps a rain-flecked jungle, deep in the heart of Thailand. (Disclaimer: all thoughts fabricated; you are busy thinking about The X-Men)
Finally the water has boiled! As with most meals, the noodles are prepared by peeling back the plastic cover, pouring in the "flavor" and "oil" packets, and adding boiling water. In 3-4 minutes your noodles are soft enough to sliver down your throat.
And sliver they will. As you take those first magical bites, words come to your mind. Food. Palatable. Mouth Tingle. Green Stuff. Sadness. Thai Kitchen's Lemongrass Chili Flavored Rice Noodle Soup Bowl is like a taste symphony. A very bad symphony, composed by an idiot. But just the same, it makes you feel bad for people who can only afford that crappy Maruchan bag ramen. It makes you feel bad for everyone, for having to live in a world where Thai Kitchen's Lemongrass Chili Flavored Rice Noodle Soup Bowl exists.
And now, you sit in your apartment in Astoria, NY, listening to the new Clipse album and thinking about ordering a small pizza. But deep inside, you know you won't bother. You've got a beer in the fridge and a few comics to read. Life is just fine.

NEW YEARS PARTY



Sunday, December 6, 2009