Snow Dayz

I was snowed into my apartment for 7 days straight. Around day 5 my roommate and I decided to go outside...wearing troll masks.

Lauren goes Speed Dating: Awkwardness Ensues

These are the facts that you should know.

I was bored and found an advertisement for speed dating in DC so I signed up and got my friend, Lindsey, to sign up with me. I put on my Sunday’s best and headed to the venue which can most accurately be described as “da club.” Immediately upon walking in I realized that Mr. Right was not in the crowd but I proceeded to take advantage of the open bar.

This is where the awkwardness begins....

The organizers had all the girls line up in front of the bar and then the guys rotated around us. We had to stand up the entire time, which was awkward in itself and we were also in a nightclub so it was really loud. Essentially it was a semi-organized bar scene but instead of just awkwardly exchanging looks with someone, you were forced to converse with them (speedily).

To be totally honest, there were like 12 “dates” and more than half of them were not memorable/entertaining but here is a recap of the ones that were. Also important to note, I was standing next to my friend Lindsey so I basically picked up her sloppy seconds the entire night.

Date #1 (Ag)
Ag looked like Gary Coleman—there is really no way to get around it. He was approximately 5’ (generous estimate) and was clearly pissed that we had to stand on our dates. I told him that he better buck up because this was only the first date and that girls wouldn’t like his negative attitude—probably not really what he wanted to be hearing, He told me he’s “never been to a speed dating event where you had to stand.” This seemed to imply that Ag has attended many speed dating events. He told me he liked movies and that if there was nothing good in the theatres he would just watch something in his Netflicks queue (fascinating!) and then, luckily, our 4 minutes was up.

Date #2 (Dan)
Dan was probably a really nice guy. The only problem was that I was physically incapable of telling Dan anything that remotely resembled the truth. He was clearly too old for me and I felt weird "flirting" with someone who could be my uncle so I started off big—I told Dan I was 28 and recently divorced. That didn’t seem to deter him at all and instead he calmly replied “So you’re the younger sister?” At first I had no idea what he was talking about and then I realized that he had just been on a date with Lindsey so I assumed that she too was unable to be honest with Dan. I basically spent the rest of our 4 minutes trying to pretend that I had actually grown up in Pittsburgh with Lindsey and our brother Logan (our parents loved the letter “L”!)

Date #9 (I have no idea what his name was)
This guy did not answer a single question I asked him…instead he would just pose them back to me. Our conversation went something like this:

“Hi, so how has your summer been?”
“How has your summer been?”
“Um…pretty good. So what kind of stuff do you like to do?”
“What kind of stuff do you like to do?”
“Are you serious?”
“Are you serious?”
And so on…

Date #12 (Z—short for Zhang)
All I can say about this kid is that he clearly watched an entire season of the VH1’s The Pick-Up Artist before coming out. For anyone who has seen the show--he opened up a "set" and dropped every line that Mystery has ever created including:
"So I have a question about my friend's girlfriend..."
"My little sister just got a tattoo and she asked me not to tell my parents..."
"Did you know your nose wiggles when you laugh? That's so cute."

After the “dates” were over I proceeded to get pretty drunk and mingle freely with my fellow speedsters. Nothing too eventful/I don't really remember what happened after that.


In conclusion, I think you all should go speed dating.

The end.

FYI

what up friends? I just wanted to let you guys know that the Real World is currently filming in DC so if anyone is interested in becoming famous/catching an STD/getting in some hot tub time/ruining any chance of running for a political office in the future/etc. I suggest you make your way down here as soon as possible.

My Future Husband

Dating on the internet is an awesome idea...

"About Me:
River stones. I guess I cannot make it more clear: I not only plan on owning all manner of marine life, but figuring out how to breed them in captivity is a major interest. This is a final, final warning."

Happy Birthday

Making out in England just became a little more dangerous...



http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tyne/7923986.stm

Missed Connection of the Day

I'm basically positive that all of you know what "missed connections" are because you're all weird and love the internet. If not, it is a forum on craigslist where you can write notes to people who you wished you had talked to but didn't (probably because of some severe social defect).

This is my favorite today...

"i saw you cruising in a black honda civic this morning going west on the toll road. i just wanted to let you know that i thought you were the most beautiful woman i had ever seen in my life and would LOVE to grab a drink or coffee with you. maybe go for a nice romp in the sack afterwards. too straightforward? maybe. but you were GORGEOUS. i would align the planets with my bare hands just to hold you in my arms. i would wrestle a grizzly bear, just for the chance to smell your breath. i would french kiss a piranha for a chance to exchange a french kiss with you. i would stick my finger in 10 butts of men, just to stick it in yours. please reply. i love you. "

Life after College: The DC Bar Scene

Okay, so being as I really don't care about how anyone's day went besides my own I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that no one wants to hear about my lame day in a cubicle. Instead I'm going to write about something everyone cares about: booze (or, more accurately, places in which one acquires booze). There are many places where one can go to buy alcohol, however when you don't have any friends in a new city and you live with people you've met on the Internet, it's easy to find yourself at a bar. This is one of the worst ideas you could have. 

Bars after college are weird, for a lot of reasons but mainly because people who go to bars in DC are either in college (with the vomit on their shirt to prove it) or in the midst of a mid-life crisis (with the leather jacket to prove it). There is no room for the 22 year old semi-professional, college wannabe within these establishments. College kids can sense that you're not one of them and therefore that you are lame. Old people want to lure you into their life of oldness but you don't want to be them...you're too cool for them (or so you think). So now what do you do? I can think of three options:

a. Make friends—then go to the bar. People who travel in groups of people they already like tend to have a more successful experience. (Note: This is not easy, especially if you are not cool or likeable.)

b. Sit at home and wait until your old enough to fit in with the midlife crisis crowd.

c. Ignore this warning—you will often fail at having fun, but at least you will be drunk.

Meet the Team.

So, a blog. This is among the lamer ideas I have ever had. But I'm getting bored, and I miss being in college. And ostensibly, that's what this blog is about. These people are my friends, and I think they miss being in college a little bit too. I don't think we'll feel this way forever, because we are not as lame as our having a blog together makes us appear. Maybe then we'll start writing about something else. Maybe we'll do that right away. I don't know. I don't care. As our friend Collin always says, "I don't care about anything."

Let me introduce you to us, so that you can really relate to us. really.

Matt Nye lives outside Boston with our friend Collin and a ferret named Dewey. I think they live in a condo, but I've never been so I don't really know. Collin works as a scientist somewhere. Maybe we'll add a science section and he'll join. Or a skateboarding section. Anyway, Matt is currently between opportunities, and is highly employable. He enjoys skiing, comic books, video games about zombies, fine beers, and sweet, sweet, delicious food - which is what he told me he wants to write about. I am totally excited about that, because the things he cooks are usually largely meat-based and delicious. Maybe he'll post recipes, or just pictures of his food, or just talk about how good it was and we can't have any.

 

Lauren (on the right yo) lives in the DC metro area, and works for a medical journal. I'm not clear on the details, but she is planning some major convention and it is a big deal. Probably she won't write about that here, but maybe she will. Lauren is the person who taught me that gossip is fun, and for that I owe her big time. She told me she wants to use the site to talk about life in DC, and maybe let some people from her area put up their own thoughts. Also maybe favor us with her favorite Craigslist Missed Connections of the week. Her interests include doing art, being free, being real, and being really real. And she totally watches Oprah. 

James lives in New Jersey and works for a Financial Firm in NYC. He does the whole thing, commutes and everything. I am happy to say I understand his job least of all, but I have total confidence that he is currently doing it more correctly than anyone else currently in America, today. He plays the drums, and along with Nick (The Guy in the Picture with Lauren) we have a band called The Children & The Animals. We just recorded an E.P. in James's home studio, and it's sweet. His interests include drumming and music production, video games, action sports, economics, travel, and photography. He went on a trip to South America after graduation and the pictures he took down there are awesome, maybe he'll put up some of his favorites. Anyway he's expressed an interest in posting photos, I don't know of what, but he's a really good photographer, so they'll be good.

Peter lives in Brooklyn with our friend Jonah, and is the first person I told about this blog idea. If he had told me it was stupid I probably wouldn't have done it. He is also between opportunities, like Matt, but recently had a job doing something in an office. He was also the hardest to find a picture of, because he doesn't use facebook. He's a man making a stand. His interests include comics, books, music, etc. Basically art. Maybe he'll write about that. He also writes fiction so maybe he'll do some of that. He is also into craft-brewed beer, so maybe he'll talk some stuff he's been into lately. I really have no idea. I don't even know what I'm going to write about.

And that leaves me, Andrew. I moved home right after school but then I got a job in Montpelier, the capitol of Vermont, and that's where I live now. I am serving with Americorps and basically work with middle school kids all day. I came up with this idea, so if we get rich and famous from it, I better be the richest and most famous. I crack myself up. My interests include music, writing, reading, and being weird. Like I said, I don't know what I'm gonna write about here, but I feel like doing something, and this is something to do. 

I think the others will wanna introduce themselves in their own way. At least, I hope they do. Until then, take it easy.

-Andrew