Life Update Episode VII: Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport!

I don't know if I've ever made a post about my jarb, which is French for job. I don't know when I last made a post, either, but you don't either so I guess it will remain a mystery for many a fortnight to come. Fortnight is French for "a couple of minutes." What I'm trying to say is that I work in marketing.

Which sounds slimy right from the start. Feels sort of flimsy and slightly damp. But so ok, I work in IT marketing, which is so decidedly unsexy that it attracts a markedly petite percentage of douchebags, relative to your average corporate rate (of douchebag concentration). The truth is I really like the people I work with, and the things I do. M@4K5T1NG R00|z! For me, anyway.

I like to get up real early. At around 3:32ish every morning I get up jaggedly and face the bed to stare at Melanie's sleeping body for circa 60 minutes. Then I go back to bed. Then I try to get up forreal around 6:00 or 6:30. Normally I use this time to pet my extremely awake cat and stare blank-faced at NBA results from the previous night until its time to get beautiful, but I'm lately trying to get to the gym in the morning before work. Gym in the morning before work. Marvel at my domesticity, and also my totally juiced pecs.

Work technically starts at 9, but we're like just so modern, so most people saunter in between 9:30 and 10:00. Since this is New York, it's very easy to get delayed on the train because of all the movie stars, and the sex in the city. You see why people are late. Fugghetaboutit! Haha...we say that ALL THE TIME. All of us.

I manage an inside sales team, which consists of 3 people in New York (besides myself) and 6 people in Bogota. Its strange to manage people. If you know me, you know I rule all around me with an iron fist. And a feather foot. My kicks are not very effective. I rarely deploy them though, since my team is mad effective and extremely easy to work with. The cool thing about being at an agency, is that there's no room for obnoxious people at a small company. This also helps mitigate the douchebag concentration at my work. Crappy people wash out naturally.

My company, and my role inside it, has grown considerably since I joined two years ago. We've grown by over 100% for two years in a row, and I get to take regular trips to Bogota and join in secret Satantic rituals and all sorts of fun stuff. Then I come home to my babe girlfriend and awesome cat and get to drink beers and listen to The Weeknd. Life is DOPE.

I'm so pumped for the summer. On nice afternooons we take real long lunches, and it's extremely rad to eat outside and watch everyone mozy along with their day. Lunch options are seemingly endless in my work neighborhood, two years and I'm still finding new things. Last Friday I popped out for a few hours in the middle of the day to watch a few innings of the Sox game, and in the process ate a killer burger and consumed a few beers. They actually won. True story.

I hope you guys make some life posts as well. I really dig it when Matt updates us on his Pacific Rim goings-on, and I would love to hear what's going on in everyone else's neck of the world. But not the ribcage of your world. Please I do not want to hear about the ribcage of your world. Do not make me repeat myself.

i wonder...

From me to you

Avey Tare - Under There [2010]


http://www26.zippyshare.com/v/83398348/file.html

<3

PARADIGM SHIFT

hey, crapheads!

On The Subject: Paperbacks

I started collecting books in High School, but took a particular interest in old paperbacks in College. Specifically Mass Market paperbacks. For one thing, they're dirt cheap when you can find em. And the art on them tends to be much more daring and less strictly sales-oriented than what you'd find on hardcovers. Maybe cus most books become Mass Market PB's by being proven sellers /academic transgression/.

Anyway, here are some of my favorites from my collection:



I think Matt Ketchum might have this one too.








A little banged up but just look at all three of that handsome gentleman.

And the cream of the crop...

SINGLE GUYS GET ON THIS

‘Jersey Shore’s’ Snooki Snags Her Own Show
by Ann Murray-Yavar
Jan 19th, 2010 | 11:29 AM | Comments 15

Looks like a ‘Jersey Shore‘ star will soon be “snookin” for love on reality TV.

Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is close to landing her own dating show.

“Definitely there is no set thing, but it has been talked about,” Snooki told UsMagazine.com about the possibility, adding “I got offers from VH1 and other reality networks.”

What type of man will she seek? “A guy I can be real with,” she explained. “I love to be a dork; I love a guy with a sense of humor!”

Perhaps much like her roommate, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, whom she revealed she hooked up with. “But it’s not a big deal,” she told Chelsea Handler last week. “It’s not awkward at all. If I wanna make out with him right now, I can. It’s not weird.”

This is what you were doing on new years

sorry it took so long

Facts About The Song "Black Betty"

1. Performed by the band "Ram Jam"
2. Phrase "Black Betty" is said 13 times
3. Phrase "bam-A-lam" is said 24 times
4. 4/5 members of Ram Jam have a moustache
5. This song rules.

What does this video mean to you

New Internet Sadness

Peter and I have started a message board.

moontownexpress.proboards.com

Join up if you like, if message boards are your thing.

All are welcome.

Tell yr friends.

Look at how awesome this is

My Super Special Review of Thai Kitchen's Lemongrass and Chili Flavor Rice Noodle Soup Bowl

So
You say you like chili? And lemons in certain contexts, but not as a rule? And noodles in a vague, sort of passive way?
Boy! Do I have a product for you!
We all have the days: you work 10 hours at your marketing job in union square, you're tired but still the best looking guy in miles, and when you come home you look at five different take out menus and you're so indecisive its pathetic and you decide fine, I'll just take a look at what it's the cabinets of my apartment in Astoria, NY because I'm too bored and spineless to make even a laughably simple decision. This literally happens to all of us at least once a week.
That's where Thai Kitchen's Lemongrass Chili Flavored Rice Noodle Soup Bowl comes in! In your cabinet! You bought it some time ago for God knows what reason!
As the water boils, you gaze into the aesthetically suggestive exoticism of the package. It's cover belays a mystery of flavors: will the noodles taste like the dawn atop majestic Fuji? Or perhaps a rain-flecked jungle, deep in the heart of Thailand. (Disclaimer: all thoughts fabricated; you are busy thinking about The X-Men)
Finally the water has boiled! As with most meals, the noodles are prepared by peeling back the plastic cover, pouring in the "flavor" and "oil" packets, and adding boiling water. In 3-4 minutes your noodles are soft enough to sliver down your throat.
And sliver they will. As you take those first magical bites, words come to your mind. Food. Palatable. Mouth Tingle. Green Stuff. Sadness. Thai Kitchen's Lemongrass Chili Flavored Rice Noodle Soup Bowl is like a taste symphony. A very bad symphony, composed by an idiot. But just the same, it makes you feel bad for people who can only afford that crappy Maruchan bag ramen. It makes you feel bad for everyone, for having to live in a world where Thai Kitchen's Lemongrass Chili Flavored Rice Noodle Soup Bowl exists.
And now, you sit in your apartment in Astoria, NY, listening to the new Clipse album and thinking about ordering a small pizza. But deep inside, you know you won't bother. You've got a beer in the fridge and a few comics to read. Life is just fine.

My (Our) Dumb Life

Enjoy:

buncha knuckleheads

enjoy <3

important things re: capes the cod

^(why would you advertise something like that?)

ok attn all squidbrains:

-melanie and i will be arriving in boston thursday night via MEGABUS which you should imagine as just this six-lane-wide 20-ton earth destoryer of mass transit, MEGA enough to make mad max piss himself. bill kelly's gonna pick us up, i think.

-ari (& matt via the magic of girlfriend proxy) have graciously agreed to drive us down to the cape friday. if collin wakes up that morning from uneasy dreams to find he's suddenly sprouted pubic hair, perhaps he and deidre will join us. either way, we'll be there, in various states of drunken comas, by like say early evening.

-cape weekend veterans know that, while the house rarely wants for alcoholic beverage, food is sometimes oddly scarce. well let's just say we'll need stuff. such as:
1. munchables such as chips, crackers, cheese, whatever, delicious things to snack on, think things you'd enjoy while drunk, you'll probably be drunk, sure we've all grown up but let's call a spade a spade, i don't mean that in like a racist way.
2. more "staple foods" like eggs, milk, butter, pasta, etc. i'm sure we'll eat out a bit but we aren't all fanciest men/women alive just yet (working on it)
3. yeah drink things are always welcome. especially if you prefer something specific like cosmopolitans (ken) or smirnoff ices (james)
4. solo cups, ping pong balls.

-i'm excited! the weekend's gonna be great and i can't wait to hear ken's tales of bisexual dating.

PROPOSED WEEKEND: SEPT. 25-27

Thanks for the feedback everyone who gave feedback. To those who did not: you're a racist.

This is the equation I used to choose the last weekend in September:
date=9.21+x when x=/=8.2

Understand?

The last weekend in September is the the tentative date for Cape Weekend 3009 (see above equation). If there are any complaints, cover your complaints in decorative paints.

CAEP WEAKEND YO!!!

Y'ALL IS CORDIALLY MOTHERFUCKIN INVITED BIIIIIIITTTCHHHHHHH


ok so no definite date yet. sometime late september to october. i wanna know what weekends are specifically bad for people, if you think you'd be able to make it at all. obviously somebody's gonna get screwed; we all got lives and mine's the most important (think about it: its true). but ill aim for the weekend that can accommodate the most doggies. all y'all and the followers too (shout out to the blog followers: Internet's silent have-nots) are insanely invited, but i wanna keep it just bart ppl this time.

so any no gos, regrets, and type-based excitement explosions can mozy on down to the comments section and expressssss yoself. SEE YA ON THE BEACH (UNLESS ITS COLD).

edit: click on the picture to experience full awesomeness!!!!

I got a new number!

do you think that's a lady color???
i hope not.

well as you may or may not know my phones been dead dead dead for like, a hot minute now. so i finally ponied up and went to the verizon store all, "sir, my wireless plan has rabies please put it down," and a kind quarterback-looking man named ndibe uzoigwe sold me the above phone (modest, functional) and a new plan with AMERICAS LARGEST NETWORK.

new number is: (646)484-1470

feel free to call me today, as i will be attempting to avoid work like i owe it money.

Google Reader

So most of you jerks are on The Mail By Google. Good, that's the first step. But by now you're all old enough to take the plunge into the bone-melting world of laziness that is Google Reader: the perfect application for the individual too busy and overworked to type a different URL for every site. Subscribe to a site on Google Reader, check for updates every day, and watch as you go from bright young adult to internet hermit. It's like Facebook, except you read updates about websites and not friends and also the websites don't know you or care about you.

But so OK confession: I'm asking you people to start using Google Reader as a favor. I'm on that shit all of my idiotic day, and I've somehow fallen in with a Weird Crowd. By sharing with three of my friends who went to Brown, I have found myself suddenly in a Brown-dominated sharing community, populated by people I half know who abuse phrases such as "Epic Fail" and "FTW."

Not that I don't appreciate the Browners for bringing a touch of science-oriented light into my eLife, but I'm in serious need of some obnoxious banter from morons I know all too well. Collin's already taken the plunge, y'all should follow suit. Share with me, idiots!

*~*Love, Peter*~*
<3