Monday, March 30, 2009

National Fruits Championship


What? Yes, you read that correctly. All your favorite fruits have faced off in a competition to see, once and for all, which fruit is the best. Competitors were ranked on a scale of 1 to 5, with the higher score being better, on a number of categories designed to best represent their usefulness towards humans. The categories are:

Taste - How good does it taste? Yes, this is highly subjective, but opinion is taken as fact for the purpose of this competition. Ratings are relative to one another. Uniqueness is taken into account.

Bizarreness - How bizarre is the idea of this fruit. Don't over think it in an evolutionary sense because then everything becomes not bizarre but highly practical.

Customization - What kind of foods can you make with this? Pies? Smoothies? Etc. *NOTE This category is not for combining with other fruits necessarily. Ex: fruit salad or fruit juice should not count here.

Compatibility - How well does this fruit go with other fruits? Some great concoctions have been made among fruits working as a team. Who are the big players here?

Ease of Eat - How easy is this fruit to eat in its natural state? It is messy? Is it a pain to get the SoB open?

Here are the results.





And some charts to help your analysis:





The clear winner is!



BANANAS!

Holy fuck.

Ok, so I really doubt that any of you are going to care too much (maybe Andrew), but the album that I've been looking forward to since '04 by the greatest ultra-blues-tinged rock-and-fucking-roll band ever, Church of Misery, finally came out. It's called Houses of the Unholy, and its heavy as fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Shotgun Boogie is, thus far (I haven't finished listening to all of it yet) the best track on the album - as I could've told you from their live recording at Roadburn this year - but I implore ya'll, if you like serious riffs and rocking out, get this, 'cause this is the album of the next 5 years.

Here's the link to the album, conviently posted on the ultimate music blog that I just became a member of, Lucid Media.

http://lucidmedia.blogspot.com/2009/03/church-of-misery-house-of-unholy-2009.html

Update - Just ordered it on vinyl from Rise Above records. Overseas, and 29 Euros. Whoa. Expensive? Maybe, but I'd pay triple that for this band.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

My day yesterday (Life)


It's the busy spring season, which means I had to wake up at around 7 yesterday to be in the city for a 9am tour. It was a great group with tons of energy from Wisconsin and I was excited about taking them on an extended walk through central park; the first time I've been able to do this this year. They were a choir and did a really lovely rendition of star spangled banner for a jazz saxophonist who was performing in the middle of the park. Afterwards they were excited to go through Harlem, which is really hard to make interesting. I've always thought I had enough material to make it cool for kids who are interested, but this is rarely the case. The most you can do is make rural American students feel guilty about not knowing African American history. This applies even to the engaged Music groups. I ran out of content halfway through. The same thing happened as I came down the East side of the Park, and that's when I really started sweating.
Nonetheless, when I finished at noon, they were so grateful to have me as their guide and I recieved a tip from the company as well as a cash tip from the tour leader and another small cash tip from another parent in the group. Somewhat bewildered, I got some really heavy thai food and an equally heavy pumpkin spice square from a bakery and ate lunch in Central Park. My next tour was at 2 so I had plenty of time to chill, play GTA: Chinatown wars and even take a nap if i wanted to. I guess I spent too much time hunched over my nintnedo ds because i didn't feel particularly relaxed when 2 rolled around.
This next tour was a 3 bus move for a 2 hour tour, which is a pretty cramped amount of time with late afternoon traffic. My Dad was the lead guide, meaning he was supposed to have all the information, but he didn't have any. I connected with the group leader who was frazzled, running half an hour late and wanted to see everything. I told her we would have to time for Central Park and maybe a bit of 5th avenue before going their 4pm dinner reservation at planet hollywood (you know a group has poor planning when the only dinner reservation they could get is for 4pm).
The kids were from Richmond, Virginia, and generally, dicks. Making gay jokes and siren noises to passing joggers and bikers they were pretty damn immature and I'm glad i wasn't with them for longer than 90 minutes.
I went home and decided to take a nap at about 6pm before a relaxed friday night. Maybe I'd go see a movie. I woke up at 10:45 with 3 missed calls from my girlfriend. Terribly upset, thinking that I was mad at her, with some miscommunication about an idea that we were going to hang out, she suggested that we shouldn't see each other any more. I was quick to realize that she was in a bit of an emotional fit that had little to do with me and more to do with chemical cycles and the fact that the electricity has been shut off in her apartment for the past two nights. I told her to come over.
When she arrived, she apologized for overreacting and brought beer, cookies and leftover indian food. We watched bits and pieces of the last two Matrix movies and slept in.

Punchline: you know its a recession when you're picking up chicks because you have electricity at your place.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Oh snap!

This totally isn't big news to anyone but me, but I just got invited to post on, in my opinion, the world's best music blog - lucid media (www.lucidmedia.blogspot.org). The guy who runs it, Jed, is the most glorious asshole I have ever had the pleasure of reading, and all the contributors seem to have pretty good, ecclectic taste in music, although it does tend to lean towards the metal end of the spectrum. Check it out if you want.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Crank: High Voltage


I "crank" wait for Crank: High Voltage! Crank, starring Jason Statham, was a non-stop action filled jizz explosion, written and directed by Hobart College alumn Somebody Somethingface. I can only imagine Crank: High Voltage will be even better. You could say I'm pretty "cranked" for it!
What I don't get, though, are the haters who think Jason Station "crank" act. I think that's recrankulous. To these cranktankerous crankmudgeons I say, if you crank have fun watching James Station and Amy Smith, you're crankzy!
(In theaters April 17!!!)

Graduate School

I got into Grad School. Brooklyn College, MA program in English for the Fall of 2009. Weird.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Having a Hobby

I think it's important to have hobbies, for a number of reasons. If you don't like the word hobby you can say "interest" or "thing" (as in, that's his thing). Especially now in this age of jobs, we are especially careful, I think, in social situations to encourage people to make the distinction between what we do and what we "do."

Part of having a hobby is finding new ways to talk about it to people who only care slightly about it. So, in that spirit, I'm going to start posting a few of the new records I get every week or so. Posting them all seems kind of obnoxious, but obnoxious and boring, whereas only posting the good ones seems obnoxious and a little petty. Which is good.

So here's some finds from last night:

Marvin Gaye - In the Groove (Later re-released as "I Heard it Through the Grapevine")



Various Artists - The Happy Moog


The Fame Gang - Solid Gold From Muscle Shoals



Black Sugar - Black Sugar II



Robert Johnson - King of the Delta Blues Singers


Monday, March 23, 2009

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Dig on This Photostream:

Alien Jonah and Peter Party Monster are totally in Love-town, USA. So cute!

New Blog

http://rememberkidpix.wordpress.com/

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Check out these dudes


Too see other pictures of people you might know, dig on my photostream.

Friday, March 20, 2009

I bit the bullet

and got a job working as a busboy. I'm honestly kind of excited - I've been out of work long enough that I'm past caring about what kind of job I get, so long as it pays. Plus I figure that having experience in the FOH might come in helpful if I'm ever out of work again.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Here It Is.



Personally I recommend paying really close attention to his super facial expressions. super.

P.S. Today at the Teen Center (Where I Work) the kids and I were coming up with rapper names. So far two of the kids are "Walter the Rapper" and "Chief Sundance T-Shirt" and I am "Toyota Cosmonaut."

Commuticide: A Photo Journal

Startled, confused, annoyed. My first thought of the day: “I can’t wait to go to bed tonight.” Any so begins my daily commuticide.


Drive. Speed. You are late.











Pay and go to platform. Don't talk to anyone.


















Wait. Its cold.












Here comes train, bright.












Ride train. This early you will get a whole row to yourself. Sleep if you aren't too awake from the cold, else, suffer.










Get off train, go to subway, take it uptown.












Rise to the surface. At this hour, its mostly construction workers and a few desk monkeys like my self. There are almost no women.
















Walk past this statue into building. Man, sculptures can be so dumb.

















The office--but I'll leave its contents for another post.











Time to leave. Peace out, hot dog vendor who plays Egyptian music all day.

















Take enter subway, the sun is already down.


















Down into the tubes.












Wait and jockey for door position. This train will be packed but if you don't make it, you could miss your connection.










Get on NJ Transit.












Home station. Is that light at the end of the tunnel?










Usually for young professionals, the idea is to live in New York. Duh, that’s one of the attractions of working in New York, it’s an excuse to live there. You could be anywhere from a several block walk to work, to a 40 minute subway ride. The social scene is babes and bars. But hear this: while there are city people and there are country people, I am neither. No, I love the burbs.

Friday, March 13, 2009

ToTaLLy nEwS...??

Today I read (I just learned how to so I'm proud) that Michael Cera has officially signed on to do the Arrested Development movie. Is this news to anyone, or am I way behind?

"i'm gonna touch your juno"

Thursday, March 12, 2009

My Future Husband

Dating on the internet is an awesome idea...

"About Me:
River stones. I guess I cannot make it more clear: I not only plan on owning all manner of marine life, but figuring out how to breed them in captivity is a major interest. This is a final, final warning."

Monday, March 9, 2009

Coming Soon to a Theater Near You

I saw two GREAT movies this week I think you all will like. Except maybe Lauren. The first one was Mystery Team and I may have shown the preview to many of you. This is my favorite comedy group, Derrick Comedy's first feature (derrickcomedy.com has been pretty popular in college). I brought at least 4 of you to their balls-awesome improv show in NY and I think you all loved it. The film follows the exploits of a team of amateur detectives--18-year-olds who think they're still 12. Funny it's not as common a subgenre as you might think. The Judd Apatow machine has mostly been doing 27-35 year olds thinking they're somewhere in the 8-23 range of arrested development, which is starting to get old and sloppy real soon. In the rollickingly funny Mystery Team (like, miss the next joke you're laughing so hard funny) tightly wound comedy springs from the specific stunted growth of these boys in their last year before leaving home and being forced to grow up. That's what college does, right? Throughout the film, these guys rub the tip of puberty in the most precisely coined and unforced ways but nonetheless follow the satisfying arcs of character development, especially considering the audience (us).
Slapstick and gross out humor abounds, but in meeting and getting to know the Mystery Team, you're brought back to a time when everyone in your "crew" played an important role and displayed all the right checks and balances to your adolescent boys' club community. Jason, "the master of disguise", Duncan "the boy genius" and Charlie "the strongest kid in town!" play off each other with the most distinctly side-splitting timing and chemistry, it's no wonder the comedians playing these guys have been successfully ripping off each other for years during one of the most premiere time slots in one of the most premiere comedy clubs in New York City.
The dynamic between the characters are is successful that the mess of a plot moves along in a comfortable, organic way with few contrivances. "No case too small" is the motto of the Mystery Team, but when a buttery little blonde Briana, a 7-year-old pays them 10 cents and asks them to find out who killed her parents, the boy wonders are launched into messy action-packed conspiracy. The silly non-stop plot goes from the dirtiest strip club to the top offices of some evil corporation. Not that you care, as there is enough genuinely well-played suspense in the more action-packed 2nd half that it doesn't matter who's working for what union and what poison is in whose product.
Aside from the terrific elements mentioned above that keep this movie moving, you have incredible production values which really lock it down. Massive locations, sets, stunningly smooth cinematography and a bright clean look really helps to lock Mystery Team in as a surprisingly affable debut from this up-and-coming comedy team. One might go as far as to say the cherry-bomb finale is visually beautiful.
I saw the first preview screening of this film and I think they're pretty far from finding a distributor, although they did remarkeably well at sundance from what i've heard.
The second film I saw was closing at a small festival in NY and is slated for a June release. The Hurt Locker was the best war film I've seen since Jarhead and the best Iraq war film I've ever seen, hands-down. Recently, films on the subject of this mislead war have gotten terribly muddled down in the politics and ethics of (duh, what everyone's been saying), a war we shouldn't be fighting in the first place. This film is about an under-served unit--the bomb squad--and says, "Guess what, there are man out there doing their jobs and saving lives".
When Seargent Matt Thompson (Guy Pierce) loses his life in the terrifically paced opening sequence, he is replaced by the loose-cannon William James (the terrific and under-rated Jeremy Wrenner), a no-bullshit soldier who gets the job done with or without the help of his team or the rules. Sure, the lead character brings a hackneyed feeling, but first off, this is a war film and these are the characters who make this genre. Second, James' character arc, solo ventures and dynamic relationship with his team may send your expectations for a loop, although generally I felt like it didn't gel from beginning to end.
The bottom line is that James is the man in the 80 lb bomb suit in 130 degree weather swimming in the eyes of an occupied nation. Although this film stays pretty far from criticizing the Iraq War (one character blabbers inelegantly about how it's fucked up and everyone dies, but that happens in every war and every war film), the facet that keeps it unique is in the urban setting of an occupied country, one that never asked for US intervention and one that has shown it's discontent with internal violence.
But this isn't just red-wire, blue-wire suspense. In one of the first missions at an evacuated UN building, James strips from the suit, "If I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die comfortable" and scurries around through a parked car with a massive set of explosives in the trunk. Meanwhile, Seargent JT Sanborn (Anthony Mackie) is keeping eyes out for a shooter on the roof and Specialist Owen Eldridge (Brian Geraghty) is dealing with the paranoia and pressure of an amateur cameraman taping the escapade and eyes all over, gesturing towards the spectacle of massacre.
It was Eldridge's fault that Thompson, a great team leader, died, and he spends much of the film dealing with the guilt of his hesitation and obsessing with death. Therefore with superego and id clearly locked up, Sanborn plays a terrific balance in keeping his team in touch, intact and alive.
As the missions move on and the countdown of the days brings them closer to home, they get much closer. One dry, quiet sniper shoot-out in the desert that will have your throat parched and your breath short (with a tasty cameo by Ralph Fiennes) brings about a terrific male bonding scene. Slugging whisky and each others' stomachs with breaks for sentimentality, girls back home and over-the-top machismo locks these guys into each other in a most definitely modern moment: this isn't philosophy by candle light in a half-shelled European church.
Obsession gets everyone into trouble through some confused investigations and a muted but seat-gripping climax, and when someone gets sent back home early (you knew it was gonna happen), it happens with a wide grin of originality. Not only does The Hurt Locker bring glory back to the battlefield, but it does so with gusto, buckets of black humor and a return to the war films that taught us all what it's like for some men out there. Except maybe Lauren.

After the film there was a Q+A with the director Kathryn Bigelow (a girl?!?!). Check out the resume, and yes--she totally directed point blank.

Kind of Employed!

So I start teaching Japanese as an independent contractor next monday, and I'm the only Japanese tutor that this company has so I'll potentially get all of the requests in the area. Good pay but no benefits.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Concerning things that don't go together often.

I just got back from skiing. It is also almost 60 degrees in/around Pittsburgh. It was like discovering I could breathe Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Now I'm just bored and its real late.

So here are some youtube videos of all of the metal bands that 4 of my friends in Pittsburgh, who are totally not into metal (favorite bands include Van Morrison, The National, Les Savy Fav, The Minutemen, The Kinks (other bands I'm into outside of metal/hardcore), etc.), are into (who somehow came across these bands by themselves, even though they are some of my favorite metal (and black metal at that) bands). Melodies are real good at all times, with the exception of Krallice who sometimes go into super angular/mathy/jazz-via-metal-over-drive (due to their lead guitarist's history in bands like Crom-Tech and Orthrelm)... although ya'll probably won't like the vocals. Still, it strikes me as strange that my best friends in Pittsburgh, who are mostly all against any metal or hardcore of any kind, like these bands without me having told them about them, so I figured I might try to at least show you guys what the word on the other side of the old-school rock/contemporary rock/indie realm is about (totally not meant to be derogatory - you know me, I listen to all kinds of lame (i.e A-Ha, Depeche Mode, etc...) music).


Wilby, I tried to find some videos of a band called Dark Storm for their drummer, but Youtube has failed me this one time. Aside from Hella, I haven't heard such a multi-faceted drummer as Hella, or Isis, or (as I know you really like, and as musicians anyway, I really respect (even if I'm not so into their music)) Coheed's as this guy from Dark Storm - his drumming, and especially pace, are absolutely out of this world. Anyway, at least try to enjoy what I'm throwing up. Not expecting it, though...

Wolves In the Throne Room - Vastness and Sorrow - From Olympia, WA
* Nick, you might like these guys at least philosophically due to their involvement with various different agriculture movements (mostly leftist). They live on their own 100+ acres of farm land, growing their own food and trying to use as little natural resources as possible - hence their constant canceling (aside from the roadburn festival in Holland) of shows outside of their state, and also hence their monthly shows on their own property (in the middle of the woods, with a bonfire and all).


Nachtmystium - Assassins - From Wheaton, IL
* Maybe the most appealing to those not really into metal as they have draw some pretty serious influence from the 60's and 70's psyche rock bands (Pink Flloyd at the top of that list, in more than sound only). This is the band that all of the dudes I know agree on liking.


Krallice 0 Wretched Wisdom - From NYc, NY
* These guys are at once the most listenable (as in, in the vein of Weakling - a pretty melodic Black Metal band) and also the most avant/challenging (as in their lead guitarist's participation in bands like Crom-Tech and Orthrelm) black metal band from America.


P.S. Wolves in the Throne Room have on their 3 (well, 2 released and 1 upcoming) albums a woman from some LA hardcore band that I can't find any info about whose voice is phenomenal. On their 2 released albums, there are 4 tracks a piece, and on 2 tracks of those 4 this woman sings opera-quality vocals - real beautiful stuff. That juxtaposed against their incredibly atmospheric music is possibly one of the best things I've heard vocals vs. music stuff wise since I started listening to Magma (who I think destroys King Crimson (even though King Crimson kicks some serious ass))... Its so good that sometimes I go to bed to the tracks she sings on of Wolves in the Throne Rooms' .

Thursday, March 5, 2009

The Watchmen

So I got tickets to go see the midnight show of The Watchmen tonight. I got pretty much the last tickets, and even though I was kind of skeptical about how it would be, I got them anyway because it was going to be an awesome date - $80 or so on dinner followed by a movie. Well, I spent the $80, but I didn't see the movie. Instead, I broke up with my girlfriend of 7 months.

The fuck?

P.S. Sorry to be a downer.

Don't Eat the Food, it's Poison Food

Watch more Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job! videos on AOL Video

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Happy Birthday

Making out in England just became a little more dangerous...



http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tyne/7923986.stm

Nick Got A Job

One of us has become employed. And so, here it is for your viewing pleasures.





Enjoy.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Employed!

So I got the Americorps position in Troy New York working on the Veggie Mobile. It's almost exactly what I'm interested in, mainly, local food and local hunger and poverty issues. The truck drives around the Capital Area (Troy, Albany, Schenectady) selling fresh and local produce to under served low-income residents and assisted living seniors. Everyone I've talked to at the organization sounds really cool, and my direct boss's favorite album is The Kinks "Arthur" which I took as an excellent sign and bodes well for my time there. So, I'm moving to Troy for a year. It's a relief to know what I'm doing and to be able to get out of my house and out on my own again, especially since I'm working on stuff I'm really interested in. Check out their blog, it's kind of out of date but gives a good idea of what they do.

http://theveggiemobile.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2008-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-08%3A00&updated-max=2009-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-08%3A00&max-results=22

Sunday, March 1, 2009

That dude living at my house...

   is pretty cool. Funny guy too, both in speech and temperament, although unfortunately only I can really tell the former aspect is so because no one else understands him - he speaks only a little bit of english. We had this dinner reception to go to tonight with him for all of the members of the group he's in (I think 34 total), and we sat around joking and talking to all of the natives, and eating all the food that everyone made for the event (which was really extensive and pretty damn good, especially for a bring-your-own style buffet).
   We went to the Andy Warhol museum (to which I never go because I really hate the guy, more or less) to see this exhibit of painted Darth Vader masks. I thought it was a pretty cool idea, and I was blown away by the pieces, but by far the best part of that specific experience was the incredible amount of Star Wars fans in full Vader/Storm Trooper/Boba Fett/Imperial Guard outfits walking around taking pictures with people...

I got choked by Darth Vader. It was sooooo cool.

The funniest part of the night, however, was dinner. He's totally Japanese in that he supplements all parts of a meal with one kind of alcohol or another - it didn't really seem to matter to him, as he had a few beers, probably about a bottle of wine, and some sake interspersed between glasses. By the end of the dinner, he was good and jolly, asking question after question in broken english, and telling all present "I so happy." We got home and saw that Rocky 1 was on, and boy was he excited. He went to bed around 10.

So far so good.