What? Yes, you read that correctly. All your favorite fruits have faced off in a competition to see, once and for all, which fruit is the best. Competitors were ranked on a scale of 1 to 5, with the higher score being better, on a number of categories designed to best represent their usefulness towards humans. The categories are:
Taste - How good does it taste? Yes, this is highly subjective, but opinion is taken as fact for the purpose of this competition. Ratings are relative to one another. Uniqueness is taken into account.
Bizarreness - How bizarre is the idea of this fruit. Don't over think it in an evolutionary sense because then everything becomes not bizarre but highly practical.
Customization - What kind of foods can you make with this? Pies? Smoothies? Etc. *NOTE This category is not for combining with other fruits necessarily. Ex: fruit salad or fruit juice should not count here.
Compatibility - How well does this fruit go with other fruits? Some great concoctions have been made among fruits working as a team. Who are the big players here?
Ease of Eat - How easy is this fruit to eat in its natural state? It is messy? Is it a pain to get the SoB open?
Here are the results.
And some charts to help your analysis:
The clear winner is!
BANANAS!
Bullshit. Pears should be ranked higher. The shape should make the bizarre rating higher.
ReplyDeleteshout out to my main plantae, banana- always knew you were tops, ace
ReplyDeleteoranges- what can i say? i think you're the best but it aint up to me, this is about america
ps james, nice freakonomics img at the top there ;)
Vinnie, point taken and I agree, it should have received a 2.
ReplyDeletePeter, I think oranges are good as hell too. But see here, they're round, are formed like every other citrus of which there are many, and are someone annoying to eat. At the same time, they've comforted us many times between halves during youth soccer matches so I understand your personal affection for them. And they smell great! Maybe that should have been a category--application in household cleaning products. Its also a strong flavor that can easily overpower others in a concoction--but to this effect, it benefits greatly as a mixer with alcohol(another category left out).
In the end I think the berries were over scored, especially cranberry. But a lot of that is because they're easy as fuck to eat. And like Peter said, this is about America not what any individual among us thinks.
i become agitated when i try to peel a banana and the top of it becomes mushy from my attempts to open it. then that piece is your first bite, and sours the rest of your experience. i also feel that bananas smell a bit like babies, and i hate babies.
ReplyDeleteis that a picture of bettie page?
did you know
ReplyDeleteyou should peel bananas from the end without the stem, what people generally think of as the bottom. just kind of pinch it. it works a lot better.
also its how monkeys do it
they know how to peel bananas
Yes Collin I've heard that. Actually, I learned that from a gay guy. I figured he knows a bit about bananas so... You're gay?
ReplyDelete