So I went back to Hobart a week ago. The occasion was seeing a fellow Statesman, Preston Rich, take part in matrimony. I don't know if you guys know Preston that well. I lived with him a summer in DC and he introduced me to my girlfriend. Anyway it was great to be back in Geneva.
The wedding was pretty crazy. I was a groomsmen. My duties included trying to persuade the five year-old ring bearer to come down the aisle by giving him a cookie. The thinking being that he wouldn't hand the rings over and I would have to persuade him into exchanging expensive jewelry for a sugary delight. I failed at this job because he ran down the aisle before he was supposed to. He spent the rest of the wedding sleeping in the rear of the church. I also got a cookie out of the failed mission ring swap mission, which since it was a Baptist wedding I counted as communion.
I also took it upon myself to call the best man "BM" all weekend from the time we tried on our tuxes, to the rehearsal, and all the way up to us sitting people in the church. Right before the ceremony he said to me, "Vince you know that is the medical term for bowel movement, right?" When I nodded sheepishly he revoked my candle lighting duties. It is sort of odd that one of my good friends committed himself to another person for his whole life, and I spent the weekend making jokes about fecal matter. I think it shows how both of us will spend our adult lives.
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Vince, not only did you shit upon the sanctity of the occassion with your puerile poop jokes, but you failed at securing the sanctity of the ring-bearers duties, AND you ate his cookie.
ReplyDeleteJesus sustained a small about of pride in you after you quit crew, but this is going to be hard to repent.
Did he marry Sarah? That dude was my RA freshman year and I spent so many tear-stained nights cuddled between them...